Let Me Give You My Life
by thenoblehouseofblack
Summary: Felix has died, and the cluster helps Wolfgang deal with his grief, especially one smart Indian girl. That is, if she can convince him he deserves it. Kalagang post finale one shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own sense8 or any of the characters.**

 **Let Me Give You My Life**

 _Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_

 _I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_

 _Offer me that deathless death, good God let me give you my life_

Since he was a little boy, Wolfgang had never truly been alone. Felix had always been with him, a bright light in the ever consuming darkness surrounding him. it had been Felix who had comforted him after he killed his father. It had been Felix who had believed in him while he spent years trying to break the S&D safe his father had never been able to crack, a final fuck you to the man who had tortured him for years.

But now, Felix was dead and Wolfgang was alone.

 _Not alone_ , the words came through his mind. The others stood around him in his small apartment expect for two: Will who's connection to them was still a void they all felt while he was unconscious, and Kala, who kept purposefully away. It had been a few days after he had told her to marry Rajan that he had learned how to block the connection if he so wished. He knew she was trying to reach him, trying to be here for him, but he couldn't bare it, not from her. Not when she had finally seen him for the monster he was. Not when he would see her as a married woman, belonging to another man.

Still, the others were here. Capheus, Lito, Nomi, Riley and Sun. They gave him strength, these strangers who were just as much part of him as his heart and soul. They were his family now, he realized, not by blood or choice, but by something deeper, something he couldn't explain. Kala had called it a miracle, but he hadn't seen it as such until now. They were here for him when the world had felt like it would collapse, when his bright light had gone out.

His grief was flowing through him, into the others. Riley was crying, though her mind was still half on Will, he knew, making sure he was okay in his defenseless state. He understood that and didn't judge her for it. She loved him, they all felt it. Capheus held Nomi's hand, both their looks grave. It was disconcerting not seeing a smile on Capheus's face, the man always so happy and radiant. Sun sat quietly on the floor against the wall, her expression as serious as always. Lito stood the closest to Wolfgang, theirs somehow a friendship that felt stronger than the rest.

Will's constant state of unconsciousness wore down on all of them, as if they had lost a limb. Still, they poured their collective strength into him, and for that he was grateful. He couldn't have made it through this without them. The funeral was tomorrow, and he knew they would be there for him. He couldn't have handled it alone.

The silence echoed through the minutes that turned into hours. It was finally Capheus who broke it. "My friend, you know you'd feel better if she were here," he spoke in English, though they all would have understood his Swahili.

"No," he said firmly.

"You need her," Nomi said quietly. She understood more than any of them what he was going through when he tried to keep her out. She understood what it felt like to think you didn't deserve love.

"I'm fine," Wolfgang insisted. "Besides, she's a married woman now. She had other things to do, I'm sure."

"No, she's -," Lito began, but stopped with a look from Riley. This was something Kala had asked from them, to be able to tell him herself. They couldn't ruin it now.

"She wants to be here for you," Riley finished for him. "Just like we all do."

"No," he said again, shaking his head. He had already lost Felix because of who and what he was. He couldn't bare to see what else he had caused himself to lose. He couldn't take this anymore. "Please, go."

The others exchanged a look before they left him alone, though they did not take away their strength. He didn't realize at first that Sun had stayed behind. She was looking at him from where she sat. "What?" he asked when she didn't speak. He had never actually spoken to Sun one on one before, like the others. He knew, however, she was not a woman of many words. She spoke with her fists. The few words she did speak were carefully picked and thought out, carrying heavy weight with each word.

"I lost my mother when I was a young girl," she said slowly. "She was the only one who understood me, who had always been there for me. My father barely acknowledged my existence and relationship to him after she died, and my brother followed his lead. A week ago, my father came to visit me in jail, and told me he had finally realized the error of his ways. He was going to tell the truth and get me freed. A few days ago, my brother came to tell me my father was dead. My brother killed him and made it look like a suicide."

He just stared at her in horror, feeling the anger and pain she was feeling.

"I blamed myself at first. If my father hadn't been trying to help me, Joon-Ki, might not have killed him. But then I realized something. He killed him because he was afraid of what he might face if my father had indeed been able to speak the truth. My brother was not a man enough to face prison. He would not have survived because he was afraid and unsure of himself outside of the comforts and luxuries my father had provided him." She stood and looked at him. "Do not be like my brother. Only lesser men let fear and insecurity rule them. Unlike Joon-Ki, you and I have had to climb out of the shadows of our fathers our entire lives. And though they were giants, it is time to reach the light now. Let her come and face the future you could have like the man I know you are."

And then she left him alone, letting her words wash over him. He knew she was right, but it was so hard to look past the monster in his veins. The same blood that had run through his father ran through him. He knew what he was capable of. That was why he had told her to marry Rajan instead of holding onto him. He was not worthy of her love. He was not worthy of her. But was that the only reason? He thought of Sun's words and knew the truth now. He had sent her away because he was afraid. He had not given her a chance to deal with what he had done because he was afraid she would see the monster and reject him. It was easier to make the decision for himself, safer that way.

"You told me once that there were two ways to deal with a mistake," Lito said, appearing with him again. "Live with it or fix it. Do not make the mistake of trying to live with this one."

"She's probably married by now," Wolfgang sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I can't exactly fix that."

Lito was quiet for moment. "Just let her in first. Go from there."

And then he too was gone, and Wolfgang was alone. He hung his head and thought of Felix, his friend, his brother. What would Felix say now? He'd tell him to stop being such a little pussy. He'd quote a line from Conan, maybe "No man shall live in chains" or something that would fit perfectly to this moment. But the message would be the same. He'd tell him to let her in.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting his fear go and breaking down the wall he had placed between then. She was there instantly when he opened his eyes again, tears in her eyes.

"You let me in," she said quietly.

"I did."

"Thank you," she said. "I felt your pain, but you wouldn't let me help. I've been trying to send you my strength."

"I felt it," he said, his eyes not getting enough of her. She was like a breath of fresh air to him now. She was the color in a world of gray. "It kept me going."

"Good," she nodded. She reached for him, and then stopped.

He knew why. He looked away. "How's Rajan?"

She took a moment to answer. "I am sure he's okay," she said slowly. "I do not know for sure. I haven't seen him since I called off the wedding."

He looked at her sharply. "What? But I thought..."

"You thought I would marry him because you told me to?" She guessed. "I was going to actually, not because of you, but because I thought it would be safer. With Whispers out there, I thought maybe having a rich and powerful husband would protect me. Also, it would have made my parents happy. Seeing me married to a nice boy who I could start a family with. But then I realized something."

"What was that?" he asked carefully, a thousand emotions running through his mind as he tried to keep his face neutral. He was relieved and ecstatic and worried and hopeful and terrified.

"I could have married him, even though I do not love him," she said, taking a step forward. "But with Will how he is, and with what happened to Riley, it made me see. Our lives will always be in danger now because of this gift Ganesha has given us. Any of us could be captured at any moment, killed. I could die tomorrow."

He hitched his breath at the talk of her dying, but he did not say anything, waiting for her to continue.

"And if I do die tomorrow," she continued. "I want to be happy before then. I'm sure Rajan should make me happy one day, but not now."

"Why?" He asked quietly.

"Because I am in love with another," she stepped forward again so she stood right before him. "And while I love this other man, I will never be happy with Rajan. But there's a problem with that."

"He's a monster," he said quietly, looking down into her eyes. She was so close he could lean forward and kiss her. He could grab her and never let go. but he stopped himself.

"No," she said, smiling slightly. "My problem is that he lives in Germany and I am in India, and if I want to see him and go to him, it will look like I am crazy. I do not think it would be a good idea for me to end up in a mental institution while Whispers is looking for us."

"Kala," he started, his voice pained. This was what he wanted to hear, he wasn't sure why he was still hesitating. He should just grab her and kiss her and it would make everything better. But he didn't. "You don't know what you're saying. You don't know what I am, not really."

"You are a man who has suffered immensely," she reached up and touched his face. He closed his eyes at her touch. "You are a man who will do anything to protect those he cares about. You are the man that I love, Wolfgang. I know exactly what I am saying. I am saying I do not care about what you did in your past, only that it has shaped you to be the person I know you are today. I am saying I want to be with you, and only you. And I am saying I know you want it too."

All his resolve broke then and he reached forward, pulling her to him, their lips meeting in a scorching kiss. He pulled her closer as her hands wrapped around his neck. This was right, he thought. This was the way it was supposed to be. He didn't know why he had ever kept himself from this, from her. He had thought maybe he was protecting her from him, but a part of him had always known, long before she had constructed that bomb to save him, that she could protect herself. She was strong and beautiful and perfect. And she was his. He would never let her go again. He would fight Whispers and anyone else who tried to get in their way. He would love her forever.

Finally, he pulled away, only just slightly. Their foreheads remained touching and both of them laughed breathlessly. "I love you too," he said, his eyes locked on hers.

She leaned forward and pecked his lips lightly. "I am sorry about Felix," she said. "I know what he meant to you."

He just nodded slightly, his heart heavy again with his grief. "He will be free now," Wolfgang said. "Not in pain anymore. Maybe you can ask your Ganesha to look after him?"

"I thought you didn't believe," she smiled slightly.

He just shrugged and sighed. He was believing in a lot of things he wouldn't have before. He didn't exactly believe in God still, but he thought maybe if it would help Felix in whatever came after death, then he could try. He pulled away, and smiled at her worried expression. "So are you going to just stand there or are you going to help me pack?"

"Pack?"

"Well I'll need something to wear in India, won't I?" He said, smirking at her as she beamed at him. "I know you enjoy looking at me naked, but I imagine your parents won't be as impressed."

She blushed and he laughed, leaning forward to kiss her again. He would not forget Felix, ever. He couldn't. Felix was his brother by choice. He was the light that kept him from the darkness. And now, so was she.

* * *

 **Soooooo I just binge watched Sense8 and fell in love with the show and the characters and I became a HUGE kalagang shipper! They need to be together and make pretty Indian German babies and live happily ever after and everything will be perfect. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this one shot, let me know what you think pretty please? :)**


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